Storytelling is one of the earliest forms of communication or as put by National Geographic, “it’s as old as culture” itself.  It’s only fitting that it’s the most comfortable and familiar way that we relate to each other.  However, telling our own story can be a challenge.  The narrative doesn’t always follow a straight path and in fact, often has a lot of potholes that we would like to avoid – especially when trying to sell ourselves or share widely for PR purposes.   The alter-ego to telling our story is a “CV” or a professional bio.  These are important documents, but they don’t really weave the tapestry that will draw someone in.  I’ve been blessed with the chance to tell my own story and to help many other tell theirs and I’ve learned a few things along the way.

Self-Reflection

If you have the opportunity to tell your story, it helps considerably to be equipped for this journey of self-reflection.  Think about what your best friend or favorite teacher might say about you.  Consider the experiences that made you who you are today.  It’s perfectly acceptable to talk about influences that go back to childhood or school or formative moments and advice– those may be among the best way for people to understand and relate to you.  It’s also important to step back and assess yourself objectively and use as a way to explain how you took on challenges along the way.  And think about any “firsts” – no matter how small, they are meaningful steppingstones. 

Setting a goal for how to use the story

It’s helpful to know how you would like to use your story or have it used.   Recently I’ve co-hosted and co-produced a TV program to help artists tell their stories.  In this case, the overall goal is to understand their creative inspiration and to capture the work and approach for posterity and to showcase the local creative economy.  For many of the artists, the personal goal is also to promote their work and attract a following of patrons, gallerists, art institutions, and even students. In one case, an artist and curator said specifically, “I want people to understand why I am uniquely qualified to be in the role I am today and why it’s a perfect fit.”  

I’ve also completed many stories on behalf of employees of an enterprise company with a goal of understanding the employee brand and demonstrating the common bonds that make the employee base a true community of like-minded people who share the company values.  In the end, the question is, is this a place where you would fit in?   Would you want to hang out with these people?  If so, then, this is the place for you.   Keep in mind, that telling your story is not about accepting an Academy Award.  It’s not necessary to thank everyone that helped you along the way, but you can certainly send those supporters you story and thank them individually.  They will have been proud to have been part of the journey.

What do people want to hear?

When I begin to interview people, they often say things like, “I am not interesting enough,” or “why would anyone want to read my story?”  The continued popularity of Memoirs and NPR’s storytelling series StoryCorp, live shows such as The Moth, and many a TED talk speak to our interest in getting to know all kinds of people and what makes them tick.   People love to hear fun facts about everything from how you got your first job, the funniest thing anyone ever asked you when you were tending bar, to your favorite vacation spot, hobbies, and favorite thing to do with your kids.  When I think about what I want to know about someone, I think about the many times I have heard a eulogy and said to myself – “wow, I wish I had known this person better” or “I had no idea she was an officer in the army” or “if I had only known she was a great gardener, I would have asked her advice! “ Don’t leave the interesting details to chance.

For professional interviews, in particular, we also want to know how you managed to get to where you are today?  What were the most impactful things you did or what you learned along the way. In the end, you want someone to say, “I can see myself in this person and there’s a chance for me to make a change or try something different – she/he did it!” 

We all have to start somewhere.

What’s impressed me over the last two years of being immersed in stories is that even a 20 something year old has a story to tell.  We live a lot in those early years and take considerable risks – some we never take again!  Of course, the longer we are around, the more mistakes and successes we have under our belt.  There’s always underlying fear about how to handle the not-so-great-stuff inside the story.   I believe it’s important to bring these things up because often it’s the impetus for change.  To the extent that you can find a graceful way to share the missteps or unfortunate situations, it makes you more relatable, human, and most importantly, vulnerable.  Assuming you learned and bounced back, these can be powerfully engaging.  

In the end, being able to share your story is a rare privilege.  If someone is working with you to do so, you are particularly fortunate.  Take full advantage of it and share it strategically, thoughtfully, and generously.